Rachel's Story
by Steve6363
Summary: The Titans are no more. Long since disbanded. Beast Boy returns to the Tower for one last Good Bye.
1. Part 1

**Rachel's Story**

 **Part 1**

What had started out as an early evening shower had now turned into a full blown thunderstorm. Constant flashes of lightning illuminated the streets of Jump City while an almost nonstop rumble of thunder echoed between the downtown skyscrapers. The dark storm clouds blotted out the sun and made it seem much later than it actually was.

The loud, deep rumbles of thunder shook the windows of the downtown diner. The flashes of lightning brightened up the dimly lit eatery as the young man sat at one of the booths and stared out the window at the rain.

He was roughly 5' 9" with a tan complexion. He had shaggy blond hair and bright green eyes. He wore a pair of baggy khaki cargo pants and high top boots. On his top he wore a plain black t-shirt that was just barely tight enough to show off his muscular torso.

He turned his gaze back to the cup in his hands. It was full of a dark warm liquid that he briefly saw his reflection in before he took another sip. It was a familiar taste and it brought back waves of memories to him. He didn't always like tea but when it was all that she ever offered him he began to tolerate it, and eventually like it. 'She did always say it was an acquired taste.'

He sat the cup down and looked around the diner. It was completely empty save for him and three waitresses. There was an elderly couple when he first walked in to escape the rain but they soon left stating that they wanted to make it home before the storm got any worse. That left him alone with the wait staff.

He wasn't really hungry but he figured if he was going to stay he should order something. As he eyed the menu he didn't really see anything that looked good. He then noticed that they had a selection of herbal tea. This surprised him and he decided to try one. He honestly wasn't expecting much but to his surprise it was a lot better than he expected it to be. Nowhere near as good as hers but still, pretty tasty.

"Can I get you a refill?" a voice asked as it brought him out of his train of thought. A young waitress stood there with a new cup of tea for him. She placed it down on the coaster as she removed the almost empty one from in front of him.

"Thanks umm…Rachel," he said simply as he looked at her name tag. She was quite pretty. She was about 5' 3" and had a slender build. She had short black hair that ran down just past her ears. Her skin was a little paler then most but not too bad.

"You ok handsome? You look like you just saw a ghost," she asked him with a raised eyebrow. Apparently he had been staring at her for quite some time without realizing it.

"Oh, sorry," he said with a small smile as he looked down at the new cup in front of him.

"That's ok. I have that effect on men," she said jokingly.

"No it's just that you look a lot like this girl I used to know. Her name was Rachel too," he answered as he gave a gentle smile at her.

"Oh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she asked.

"Good I guess," he shrugged.

"An ex?"

He let out a deep sigh. "Yeah."

Seeing that this was an uncomfortable place for him she quickly tried to change the subject. "So you got a name or should I just call you the hot guy I get to wait on tonight?"

He chuckled as he heard this. "You're not too subtle are you?"

"Where is the fun in that?" she responded as she looked down at him with a seductive grin.

He began to blush as he answered. "My name is Garfield Logan."

"Garfield? Like the cat?"

"Yeah"

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry," she said as she placed a hand on his shoulder in mock comfort.

Garfield laughed. "Thanks. My friends just call me Gar…or BB."

She got a puzzled look on her face. "How do they get BB out of Garfield Logan?"

"Umm…long story," he said as he took the first sip of the new cup of tea.

"I'd like to hear it some time," she said as she placed the tray that she had been holding the whole time on the table and slid to the far side of the table, making sure that she reached far enough in front of him that her top would fall open just enough to give him a small show. She took a seat opposite of him in the booth.

He tried to keep from looking but it didn't work. "I actually don't live here. I used to but I'm just in town now to pick some stuff up from my old place."

"Yeah you're not one of our regulars. Where do you live now?"

"Texas. Amarillo," he answered, eying the other two girls giggling behind the counter as they looked in his direction. "Umm not trying to sound rude but, you don't have anything you have to do?"

"No, we're slow 'cause of the storm." She answered quickly never taking her eyes off him. "I have a cousin that lives in Dallas. Is that close to Amarillo?"

He laughed. "No. Amarillo is in northern Texas. It's a good six hour drive to Dallas."

"Oh," she said sounding somewhat disappointed.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing just thinking that I haven't visited my cousin in quite a while."

"Wow, you really don't take it slow do you?" he stated, taking another sip of tea.

"Nah," she shook her head.

He looked out the window and noticed that the rain was starting to let up. There was still a constant rumble of thunder but there wasn't a waterfall of rain outside anymore. "Looks like it's letting up," he said, gazing out the window.

"Got somewhere you need to be?" she asked, not noticing the rain.

"Um well I kinda came here to gather up some stuff from my old place. They are talking like they are going to tear it down next year." Garfield worried that he might have said too much, but Rachel didn't seem to notice.

"Oh, you used to live in an apartment building or something?"

"Yeah, exactly," he jumped on the explanation.

"Which ones?"

'Crap, I didn't think that through.'

"Umm old ones. They haven't been used for a while."

"And you left some of your stuff there?" she asked incredulously.

"Well when I left I didn't really think it was for good."

"Oh…" she wasn't sure what he meant by this but she was willing to let a few odd quarks go. She looked him over. She would say that he wasn't her type but she would have to have a type first. He really was a looker.

She moved her gaze down to his hands. On his right ring finger was a small but very interesting looking ring. It was a silver band inlaid with a row of stones, a larger one at the center. "What's with the ring?" she asked, pointing at it with her pinky.

Gar chuckled a bit. "This was given to me by a friend of mine. Guy named Victor."

"You wear a ring that was given to you by a guy?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh it's not what it sounds like. He made one for everyone in our little circle of friends."

"Okaaayyy," she said, eying him with a smile. "You're a different one, that's for sure."

"Heh, you have no idea," he laughed.

Gar turned up the cup and finished the last few drops before setting it back down on the table. He glanced at the clock on the wall behind the bar; almost 8:30.

"I really need to head out. Get this done before it gets too late," he said as he stood up from the booth.

"Oh, ok," Rachel said with just a hint of disappointment in her voice as she followed suit and got up from the table. "Umm I get off in an hour. I could give you a ride if you want to wait," she offered.

"No, that's ok. I think I need to have a walk anyways. Clear my head. How much do I owe you?"

"Nothing Mr. Logan. It's on the house," she said as she gathered up the cups and napkins and placed them on the tray as she began to wipe down the table.

"I can't do let you do that."

"You're not letting me. I'm doing it anyways."

"Ok, if you must," he said as he traded grins with her.

She finished up and made her way behind the counter. The other two waitress who had been gossiping about them quickly rushed over to talk to her. 'Still got it' he thought to himself.

As he started to make his way to the front door Rachel called after him. "Hey, don't forget your receipt," she said as she ran up to meet him at the door.

"But you said it was on the house," he said taking the small piece of paper from her hand.

"It is but you're gonna want that," she said as she reached over and gave him a quick hug. Garfield only halfheartedly returned it, still trying to figure out what she meant by her last comment.

She let go and began to slowly walk back over to the counter, wiggling her hips a little as she walked.

Gar stared for a moment before finally uttering a simple "Bye," and walking out the front door.

As he rounded the corner he looked down and opened the folded receipt he was handed. It was blank save for one hastily scribbled note. 'Rachel Lock – 555-0123.'

He let out a small chuckle and placed it back into his pant pocket. "I guess I should head to the tower."

* * *

The rain had slowed to a sprinkle. The smell of fresh rain always cheered him up, even on this night. 'Amazing.'

The sound of distant thunder and car tires splashing in the street as they passed harmonized into a symphony of the city. He could have spent hours listening to that sound. The sounds and the cool breeze on his face were so nice. That, and the fact that a cute waitress just hit on him would make it a pretty good night any other time, but not this night.

"I don't want to do this," he spoke to himself.

'Come on now. You have been planning this for weeks.'

"Yeah, it needs to be done," he said with a sigh.

He continued his trip down the streets of his former city. Taking it slow and enjoying the night air. Even if he had told Rachel that he was in a hurry he really wasn't.

As he rounded the next corner he saw a familiar sight: the park where he and all his friends used to come and play so often. Well Dick, Victor, Kori, and him would have fun. Rachel would usually sit and read her books. He had always wondered how someone could look so unbelievably beautiful by just sitting under a tree reading a book.

He moved on through the park. He could see Titans Tower off in the distance. It stood there solitary in the middle of the bay. It looked as it always did, and it brought a smile to his face.

'Home.'

He knew what he had to do would be hard. That's why he had been putting it off for so long. He almost couldn't believe it when Dick told him they were going to tear it down.

The phone was ringing again. Whoever this unrecognized number was they were persistent. Finally he decided to answer it. If he didn't they probably wouldn't stop calling.

"Hello," he answered.

"Gar, it's been a while. How's life in Texas?"

"Rob…Dick. Hot, really hot. It's good to hear from you."

"Well let's wait until you hear what I have to say first," his former boss said.

"What's up?" he asked curiously.

"The Tower BB, they are talking like they want to tear it down," Grayson said flatly.

"What!? Why?" Garfield asked in shock.

"Yeah, city council wants to build a lighthouse there or something."

"Jump City doesn't need a lighthouse!" Gar screamed in protest.

"I know. It's some sort of plan to beautify the city or something," Dick said with a large amount of irritation in his voice.

"That's stupid," Gar spat.

"I know. Hey we all sorta left some stuff in the tower. They don't plan on starting the demolition until sometime next year. If you have anything you need to pick up go there and do it next chance you get."

"We aren't going to try and fight this?"

"How? For what reason? I know it was our home for a while but the tower isn't in use anymore. There really isn't a reason for them not to," Dick reasoned.

"So that's it then?"

"I'm sorry man. I have already let Victor, Kori, and…well everyone, know about it. They will all make it down there on their own time."

"Wow. Ok well I guess I should too. I can be down there early next month."

"Good," Dick said. "Victor said the security systems should still recognize us and let us in. Even after all these years."

"Thanks. Bye Dick," he said as he slowly took the phone away from his ear.

"So long BB." The phone beeped and went back to the menu screen.

"This can't be happening."

Three weeks later he stood on the pier looking out at his former home. A sense of excitement, nervousness and despair filled his heart all at the same time.

He brought up his right hand and eyed the ring there. It was so long since he had last removed it. This had become his new face, his new self. But it felt good to be the real him every now and again. He reached over and twisted the large stone at the center of the ring. His clothes had dissolved into a familiar purple and black outfit. and his bronze skin was now a deep shade of green. His shaggy blond hair had now returned to its natural jade coloring.

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled. "Hello Beast Boy," he said to himself before morphing into a falcon and making his way towards the tower.


	2. Part 2

**Rachel's Story**

 **Part 2**

He landed on the roof of Titans Tower a few minutes latter. Flashes of lightning brightened up the surrounding area in quick flashes. It all seemed so familiar, like he had never been gone. He morphed back into his human form and walked to the center of the roof.

He had never understood why they had decided to build a helipad there. If memory served him right it had only ever actually been used two or three times the whole time the Titans lived there. The T-ship had its own storage area and launch bay, so it never required it. Most of the time she would use it as a place to meditate and be alone.

He closed his eyes and he could almost see her sitting there in his mind. So peaceful and quiet. He would go up there and watch her every once in a while. He was always careful not to get spotted, staying in the stairwell peering out the cracked door. He was just so fascinated by the fact that she had such calm and control over herself. He had a hard time not making a complete fool out of himself in front of her.

He was always trying to make her laugh. Maybe then she would at least give him the time of day instead of her usual insults. When she wasn't completely ignoring him, that is.

He was shocked when she called out to him one day as he was watching her from the shadows. He was positive she couldn't see him where he was. 'Did she hear me?' he wondered. He had tried to be as quiet as he possibly could.

"You know Beast Boy, you can come over and join me if you want. I won't mind," she said, not turning around to speak towards the door.

"I guess you heard me huh?"he asked as he emerged from his hiding spot.

Raven remained where she was floating a few inches off the ground in her lotus position. Her eyes stayed shut as she talked. "Actually you were being pretty quiet,"she said in her trademark monotone voice. "I can always sense when you are around Beast Boy."

Beast Boy felt his heart drop. "So you know I have been spying on you the last few weeks then?"

"Yep," she answered in a calm voice. "Is that what you are doing? Spying on me?"

"No, not spying," he answered as he walked up and stood a few feet behind her. "You get away up here a lot. I was just wondering what was so special about it."

Raven stayed in her position as she continued to speak. "It's quiet. Out of the way. It's good to be alone sometimes."

"You come up here to be alone?" he asked as he leaned to one side so he could try and get a glimpse of her face. She had the hood on her blue cloak down on this day. The gentle breeze made her short violet hair dance around her neck and cheek.

"Yes."

He looked at her for a moment, taking in the sight. "Oh, well I'll see you downstairs later," he said as he turned to make his way back to the stairwell door.

"Where are you going?" she asked as she finally broke her posture and turned to look at him. "I thought I told you that you could sit down if you wanted."

"Oh, but you said you come up here to be alone. I just figured you were being polite by asking me," he answered nervously. "I'm gonna go ahead and go."

"Sit down Beast Boy!" she said sharply, nodding to the empty space of concrete next to her.

"Yes ma'am," he responded as he quickly did as he was told.

The few weeks that followed the two teens made a regular habit of finding their way up to the roof together. She would always meditate or read, while he would enjoy one of his comic books or play a hand-held video game device.

One night she placed her book aside and turned to him. "Beast Boy, I want you do try something with me," she spoke in a calm, and quiet voice.

"Okay, this sounds important," he said as he placed his video game down next to her book. "Whats up?"

"I would like you to meditate with me," Raven said softly.

"Umm, I dont know how. I can't."

"Yes you can. It's not hard. I will guide you."

"Okay, if you say so. What do I have to do?"

"Cross your legs into a lotus position." She could tell by the confused look on his face that he didn't know what she was talking about. "Sit the way I am siting," she instructed.

"Oh," he said as he adjusted himself to mimic her. "Umm, I can't hover like this. I would have to morph."

"Do not worry about that. It's not important. Just place your hands on your knees and close your eyes."

He did as he was instructed. "Okay now what," he asked excitedly.

"Close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths in and release them slowly." Her voice was the same as always but somehow, this time it seemed more gentle, and soothing. "Find something to center on. Something that is a constant. Something that means something special to you. Forget about everything else, clear your mind."

He did his best to do as she said. He close his eyes and let go of all his thoughts. "Umm, am I doing it right?" His question was met with silence.

"Take another deep breath in through your nose and out through mouth, slowly. Let go of today, let go of the Tower, let go of anything holding you here. Make yourself free."

He felt a new feeling come over him. His mind started to wonder. He found himself thinking about people he hadn't in years. He found himself thinking about places he hadn't been in years. All in his mind at once yet not dwelling on any one of them.

"Let your mind flow like a river. Washing over any worries you have. Any problems of your daily life. The river of your mind is moving past them, around them, over them. Not ever being stopped or hindered by them. You are free of your problems and worries."

It was an amazing feeling. Unlike one he had ever felt before. His mind keep returning to thoughts of her. How truly perfect and awe inspireing this woman was.

"Realize that all at once you are a part of everything, but never bound to anything. You are part of the universe, and the universe is part of you." She continued to guide him through their meditation. He had never felt anything like it before.

The two sat on the roof for a couple of hours before they stopped their meditation. Beast Boy felt invigorated and renewed. "That was incredible," his voice was almost a whisper. "I see why you enjoy this so much. Can we do this again tomorrow night?"

A smirk spread across her face. "I knew you would enjoy that. Now is that mach better than your video games?"

"I was very enjoyable. But video games aren't all bad. They are fun too."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Thats why I like you Gar, you have such youthfulness. You enjoy the simple things in life."

"Hey, video games are not just for little kids. There are a lot of great ones out there. They are fun to play. They can take you away from this world. Let you forget your problems, even if is only for a short time," he said proudly.

"That's why I have my books and meditation. To escape. I guess I don't see there the way you and Cyborg do."

"Well not yet you don't. C'mon," he said as he walked over to the door, holding it open for her.

"where are we going?" she asked as she made her way inside.

"You opened my mind Raven, now I'm going to open yours."

A few moments latter she was sitting down in front of the T.V. while Beast Boy fumbled around with the Game Station. A few seconds latter he handed her one of the controllers as he sat down next to her.

"Where is yours?" she asked as she looked down at the plastic contraption in her hands.

"I'm not playing. You are," he smiled.

"But every time you play Cyborg and Robin have controllers too."

"Oh that's because we play what are called party games together. They are meant to be played with multiple people. No. This is a game you play by yourself."

"I don't want to do this. I suck at games," she said as she tried to hand the controller to him.

"Only one way to get better." he answered as he put his hands behind his head and streached out on the other side of the couch. "Oh its starting!"

"The Elder Scrolls Five?"

"Yeah Skyrim! Its one of my favorites," he was almost giddy with excitement.

She watched as the opening credits played and the game began. "Ok so what do I do now? And why am I a prisoner? What was my character arrested for? What's my name? This game doesn't explain anything."

"Just watch the game. Here in a second it will ask you to chose a race and gender."

She scrolled through the options for a moment tell she found the Khajiit race. "Oh a cat lady..."

"I knew it," he giggled out.

For the next few hours the teens sat there and played a variety of games. But Beast Boy could tell that Raven's favorite was by far the Skyrim game. He explained how game could allow you to be a wide variety people, in a wide variety of scenarios.

Every now and again he would steal a look at her while she was playing. She was beautiful. He couldn't imagine a more perfect night.

When the morning sun started to fill the common room the two teens decided to call it quits. They had been playing all night long.

"We should get to sleep," she said as she got up from the couch.

"Yea we have been at it for a while."

She stood quietly as he shut down the system and put away the controllers. He saw her hands had began to nervously play with the hem of her cloak. She was biting her lower lip looking down at the floor.

"You alright Rae?"

"You know, its a custom in most cultures for the man to accompany the woman to her door at the end of a date," she spoke meekly. Clearly uncomfortable with asking him.

"Umm, sure," he said trying to not show his excitement.

A few moments latter they were standing in front of her door. "I had a fun night Gar. The games were fun. Thank you for letting me play them."

"Thank you for showing me how to meditate. That was very interesting. I was wondering when you-"

His question was cut short as she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was wet and sloppy but eager. "Your my best friend Gar. I really enjoyed spending the evening with you. I didn't want it to end without that happening."

"I enjoyed tonight too. Umm you beat me to the kiss. I was going to be all romantic and stuff."

"That wasn't romantic enough?" An awkward grin appeared on her face as she looked down trying to hide it.

"It was. But I have this technique I like to use."

She quickly looked up at him with a slightly scared look on her face. "That wasn't your first kiss?"

"No...was it your first kiss?" He was in disbelief.

"...I need to go. I'll meet you on the roof tonight," she turned and quickly made her way into her room.

"Wait I want to know."

"Goodnight," she called back as her door slid closed behind her.

He now stood on that same roof so many years later, staring at that exact spot where it all began. A large smile spread across his face. He closed his eyes and savored the moment for a minute.

He moved over to the stairwell doorway and placed his left palm on the device next to the door. It lit up as it came to life.

"Recognized: Garfield Logan, Beast Boy. You are cleared to enter," the mechanical voice reported. There was a buzz and then a soft click. He reached up, pulled the door open and walked inside.

He made his way slowly down the stairs. The air was musty and stale but somehow familiar. Waves of memories flowed over him. A torrent of nostalgia invaded his very soul. Most of them were warm, fond memories. Some were horrible, painful memories.

"I knew this was coming. I knew I had to deal with this some time," he muttered to himself, as if trying to force himself forward.

He slowly opened the door and walked out into the hallway. It was just like they had left it so long ago.

He looked around him and saw Kori's room to his left. He walked up and pushed the door open. It was almost barren. The only things that remained were a few empty boxes scattered here and there.

'She must have already come by to pick up her stuff,' he reasoned.

Koriand'r, was the alien princes from the planet Tamaran. She had come to this planet to escape captivity when they had found her. She was scared and alone, and was ready to destroy all of them.

Robin was the first one to extend the olive branch and try and befriend her. That's probably why they had the relationship they did for all those years. She loved all of her friends dearly but when it came to Dick Grayson, she seemed to smile just a little brighter. Beast Boy was shocked when she told him that she and Dick had broken up.

He later found out that Roy Harper had swooped in and picked her up. He wasn't sure why she and Dick had broken up but he doubted Speedy really cared when he went for her.

She had always been so happy for him and Raven. She was always asking how they were and what sort of things they enjoyed together. He felt a little bad for Raven having to endure the constant questions. She would always be the first to come and try to comfort him after he and Raven had a fight. She even beat Cyborg most times.

When he finally told her what had happened between them she broke down and started crying right in front of him. Beast Boy, who had been doing a good job of holding himself together up until then, finally stopped fighting it and let the tears come.

"You were a good friend Star," he sighed as he turned to leave the room.

As he made his way further down the hall he walked passed Robin's room. Their fearless leader's quarters. Beast Boy couldn't help himself: he had to sneak in and have a look around one last time.

It wasn't quite as bad as Starfire's room but still looked cleared out. There were a few papers and books lying on his desk. His bed was still there but not the sheets oddly enough. The dresser and closets were already open but they were cleaned out.

They had all sort of gone on to their own things after the Titans disbanded. Dick and Kori didn't really go into too much detail with any of them why they actually broke up. Dick simply said, "We have our own lives to live now."

Two years ago was the first time he heard the news. Dick had come into town to say hi to him. It was a little sudden, even for the boy wonder.

There was a knock on his door one late afternoon. Garfield was surprised when he opened the door to find him standing there.

"Robin! Come in man," Garfield remarked excitedly.

"Dick!" he spat out in a hurry. "You know better than to use that name Gar."

"Sorry," Garfield answered quietly. He had momentarily forgotten the agreement they all had in place. Outside the tower they were Garfield, Dick, Victor, Kori and Rachel.

Dick moved inside and looked around his former teammate's small apartment. "I like the place. It's…cozy…I guess."

"Yeah, I know it's small but it meets my needs," he answered. "Can I get you a drink?" he asked, producing two soda cans from his fridge.

"No thanks," he said as he took a seat on the small sofa he had in his living room/kitchen.

"Oh yeah, I remember. Kori told me and Vic about how you cut out the unhealthy junk food stuff."

"Yeah…Kori," Dick said with a somber tone.

Immediately realizing his mistake he apologized. "I'm sorry Dick. I didn't mean to pour salt in a fresh wound."

"It's okay Gar," he sighed. "I'm over it."

"What exactly happened to y'all two?"

"That's not really a story I like to tell. If you want to know go ask her," he said as he looked up at Garfield returning from the kitchen. "You know BB let me have one of those Cokes. I need some caffeine."

"Sure thing," Garfield said as he quickly made his way back into the kitchen, returning a few seconds later with another can.

"Thanks," he said simply as he took the drink from his hand. "Did you just say 'y'all?'"

"Yeah," Garfield chuckled. "I've been trying out the local dialect."

"Oh yeah? How's that working out for ya?"

"It's fun!" Garfield laughed.

The boys continued to talk and catch up on what had happened in the months since the team disbanded. Victor had gone back to work at S.T.A.R. labs, Kori and Roy were doing the whole hero thing with Jason Todd. And Dick had moved to Bludheaven.

"So do you still go out on the town?" Dick asked. The true meaning to his words was understood.

"Sometimes, if the city really needs me. But Amarillo is kind of a quiet town. The local law enforcement does their job well," Garfield answered.

After exhausting all other safe topics of conversation Dick finally had to ask. "So have you talked to Rachel recently?"

The shaggy blond headed teen looked over at his friend. "No. The last thing she said to me wasn't very pleasant. I am pretty sure she either completely hates me or has completely forgotten about me," he said as he tried his best to force a smile for his friend's benefit.

"She doesn't hate you BB," Dick said confidently.

"You weren't there Robin. I mean Dick! Sorry," Garfield was worried that his former boss would be upset by this. To his surprise Dick didn't seem to mind.

"It's okay Beast Boy," Dick said with a grin. "I know she doesn't hate you. Regardless of how horrible you might think that fight was."

"She didn't even say bye! We were on the phone all she was doing was yelling at me. Then it was 'Fuck you Gar,' click." He had gone from sitting down and having a clam conversation with a longtime friend to pacing around his own apartment, angrily ranting in front of him. "You weren't there Robin, you don't know."

Robin stood up and adopted a slightly defensive stance. He didn't think that Beast Boy would try anything but his training was taking over. "Calm down Gar! You think you're the only guy in this room who has had his heart broken?" Beast Boy stopped at this comment. "Starfire took a large part of my soul with her when she left. It hurts like hell. You wake up each day only half a man. I know. Trust me I know. But you can't dwell, you can't have your whole life stop because of her!"

"You don't think I've tried Robin!?" He yelled at him. It was the only thing he could do to keep from crying. "It's been almost a year since we last talked. It hasn't stopped hurting since. How long does it take?!"

"Almost a year?" Robin asked with worried in his voice. "Beast Boy... have you not heard?"

"Heard what?" he asked as a great deal of fear came over him.

"Beast Boy…Raven is engaged."


	3. Part 3

**Rachel's Story**

 **Part 3**

Beast Boy had slowly made his way into the common room. and once again he was overcome with vivid memories.

The video games he and Cyborg used to play, the large semi-circle couch where they all watched movies, and the kitchen where Starfire created oh so many odd things.

It was all so special for him. He missed hanging out with his friends. He missed seeing them every day. They all agreed they would keep in touch often but it hadn't happened that way. They all became too distant for his liking. But most of all he missed her.

"There never will be another one like you Rachel," he said to himself as he made his way over to the large stereo system. He had taken all of his CD's with him when he left, save for a few that Starfire had borrowed and a couple that he misplaced and were never seen again.

"I thought Cy was going to take this with him?" he said, eyeing the sound system. "Maybe he hasn't been here to collect his things yet."

Beast Boy looked it over, wishing he had something to listen too. The Tower was ghostly quiet. All that was heard was the distant rumble of thunder. It reminded him of that night they had all watched that movie. 'What was it again?' He tried to remember but it was lost to him. All he remembered was the far more interesting story of how Raven had lost her powers afterward.

He sighed and continued to walk toward his room. The sooner he got this done the sooner he could leave.

He didn't really know what he needed to get. He knew there was plenty left that he didn't take with him, but nothing he couldn't live without. Maybe a few of his favorite comic books or some old pictures Beast Boy had left there, but nothing too special.

He walked down the same familiar hallway that he did for all those years. He could remember all the times he and Raven would make their way to their rooms hand in hand and share a quick kiss before saying goodnight. Early on in their relationship they were so careful not to get caught.

As time went on they found they didn't need to hide their love from the rest of their friends. They all supported them and were happy that they were happy together. Even the wet blanket of the team, Robin, was happy for them.

And as time went on the goodnight kiss became longer and more passionate. Then they began to sneak into each others rooms for a few minutes, then hours, then they began to spend whole nights together.

It didn't even matter to Garfield if they made love or not. He was happy to simply be in the same room as her. They could be under the covers or they could simply sit there and meditate together. Her presence gave him a sense of euphoria like nothing else.

He walked up to the door of his old room and saw an envelope hanging there. He removed it and noticed the writing on the front.

 _'To friend Beast Boy'_

"Starfire…"

He opened it and pulled out the note inside.

 _'Friend Beast Boy, I and boyfriend Roy were cleaning out my old room. I believe this once belonged to you. I am sorry my friend for not returning it at the specified time. I ask your forgiveness. Love you, friend Starfire.'_

He once again reached into the envelope and pulled out a CD.

"God, I haven't listened to this album in years," he laughed. "I had forgotten I let her borrow it."

He crammed the CD case into one of the cargo pockets in his pants and opened his bedroom door. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was sitting on his bed. A large, white stuffed chicken.

* * *

It was last year, he was with Terra. She had finally remembered everything. She said it just hit her like a ton of bricks one day while she was sitting in class.

She had found him in a rather vulnerable time. He wasn't prepared to deal with any of it.

Terra had come back and in the midst of their fresh break up. Beast Boy and Raven were both in extreme pain but with Terra he found comfort and it helped him forget the sorrow. But it was not to last.

In his haste and excitement he had started a relationship with her long before he had processed and dealt with the loss of Raven.

"Would you please just leave me alone?" He asked her again, his agitation growing.

"Why?" Terra asked, standing in front of his recliner.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it…"

"Well I do!" Terra said sternly.

Beast Boy got up from his chair and moved past her into the kitchen. He jerked open the refrigerator door angrily. He stuck his head for a second before emerging with a silver can in hand.

"We're out of beer," he said as he opened the final can and made his way back to the living room. "I'll have to go to the store tomorrow."

"You just bought a whole case two days ago," she said incredulously as she watched him walk past her and return to his seat.

"Yeah, and now I need to buy another one."

Terra stood there with an incredulous look on her face. "So that's it then? You're just going to sit there drinking and not talk to me?"

"About what?!" he asked sharply, turning his attention from the TV. "What could you possibly have to ask that is so important that you are willing to commit an entire evening of fighting to?"

He could see a small amount of hurt register on her face. She quickly regained her composure and asked once again. "Gar, what's wrong with you? You have been getting more and more distant. Why?"

"That's it? You were trying to ruin our night over that?"

"I'm not trying to ruin anyone's night. I just want to know why you're acting like this. I've never felt like someone was trying to avoid me in my own house." Her voice was shaky and meek.

Beast Boy sighed heavily and stood up, "I'm not doing this with you tonight. I'm going out for a flight." He turned and made his way to the back door turning up the beer can and gulping the last few drops. As he made his way to the center of the back yard and prepared to take flight his path was blocked by a sudden eruption of earth and stone.

Beast Boy turned to find Terra standing at the back door. "Yeah, that's real nice Terra. I'm sure the neighbors won't notice a damn mountain springing up in our back yard!"

"You were about to turn into a bird and fly away. How would that look to said neighbors? You're still wearing your holo-ring by the way, dumbass."

Beast Boy looked down at his hand with a sigh. 'She's right.'

"What is this? What have I done? Why do you hate me?"she asked, fighting back tears.

He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you just asked that. Are you still eight years old?"

"Well yeah I guess I am! Answer the question!"

"If you don't know I'm not going to spell it out for you."

"Of course. Avoid the question. Just like you always do!" she screamed at him.

"I'm not avoiding anything."

"Yes you are! Talk to me! You used to all the time. I was alone for so long and the only person who ever listened to me, really listened to me was you. Even with all that happened with Slade, you were still there for me. And now...now all you do is try and run away from me," she said as tears crept down her cheeks.

He stood there, expressionless. He didn't speak a word.

"I do everything for you. Anything that makes you happy I do. What have I not done? Where did I go wrong? Was it something in bed? Am I not making you happy when we are together?" She was scrambling for answers, noticeably desperate to find the answer and fix their problems.

"Terra, stop," his voice growing gentler.

"It was the sex wasn't it?! I can do better, I can make you happy," she said frantic. She quickly wiped away the tears from under her eyes and did her best to put on an alluring smile. "I went to the mall the other day. I bought something for you. I could go put it on and we could have some fun." She said as she motioned her head towards the back door. "C'mon."

Beast Boy got a mildly disgusted look on his face. "No," he said flatly. "You know some women have more respect for themselves. She wouldn't just use sex to get me to pay attention to her!" He spat. The second he said those words he knew he shouldn't have.

"What?" a noticeable amount of pain in her voice. "She who?"

"Look Terra I didn't mean it like that. I just meant to say that sex isn't going to help this. At all."

"She…this is about Rachel, isn't it?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Beast Boy said once again.

"All this is because you are still stuck on her?"

"You don't understand."

"No, I don't. Opportunities come and go. Stop worrying about the past ones and look at the one standing right in front of you!"

Beast Boy's anger spiked. "Ok, time you changed the subject! I don't need to listen to how you want to replace her!"

Terra looked as though he had just shot her in the heart. "I'm not trying to replace Raven."

"Don't say that name! It's Rachel. You have no right to use her real name!" he seethed with rage as he clenched his fists. All the pent up anger, hurt and loss he had been hiding away for months came spilling out. "You are the last person that should have anything to say! You almost killed her once, and now you are trying to steal something that rightfully belongs to her!"

"Gar I…I am not that person anymore. I don't want to hurt her, and I'm not trying to steal you from her. You were happy and in love with her. I would never try and make you forget her or try to replace her."

"Lies!"

"I'm not lying," she sobbed, making no effort to hide her tears anymore. "I only want you happy. Please."

"That's right. Go ahead and cry. Just like you always do!" He screamed.

"Gar, I am not going to magically turn into Rachel. I'm not her!" She wept.

"You're damn right you're not! That's your biggest fuckn' problem," He barked at her as he removed his holo-ring and morphed into his beast form and began to lunge at her with his claws. He stopped just a few inches from her when he noticed the four large spikes of earth and stone aimed and ready to impale him. Her eyes were wide with terror as she trembled to the core.

He slowly morphed back into his human form, complete with his natural green color this time. "You know what Terra fuck this and fuck you!" He said as he pointed a finger accusingly at her. "This is all your fault! I'm leaving." Quickly he morphed into a raven and flew away. He could hear her break down and sob uncontrollably as he left.

* * *

He walked over to his bed and picked up the large chicken. It was a prize from a carnival game he had won years ago. He, Cyborg and Raven were waiting for Robin and Starfire to finish their ride when he saw the ring toss game.

He and Cyborg had begun a game to pass the time. And Raven, lacking a book to read or any other enjoyable activity, joined them, though she left the game playing to the boys.

"You never did like playing games with Cy and me, did you?" he asked as walked over to his bed and picked up the large stuffed animal. "You always stayed to watch though."

"Don't worry Rae, I'll win you a prize," he said to her cheerily. He was met with an eye roll.

After a few tries, he and Cyborg emerged victorious. "Told ya we would win ya a prize," Beast Boy said proudly as he handed it to her.

"A giant chicken…I must be the luckiest girl in the world," Raven said in a sarcastic monotone.

He now looked at that same simple gesture in a new light. "You threw this down as soon as we had to go after Star. You never did tell me why you went back to get it."

He placed the chicken back on his bed and got to work. He made his way around his old room slowly. Taking every sight and smell in. So many memories flooded his thoughts. He missed everything about his life as a Titan. He dreaded coming back to his old room: he knew that all the memories would be so painful. But now, as he stood in his old quarters, he felt a sense of happiness and nostalgia.

"Why did it take me so long to do this?" he asked himself. "I had all my friends here with me. Got to see them all the time. I got to be close to them." He smiled as he remembered all of the good times he had in the tower. But his good mood quickly began to fade. "I was close to her. Was close to her…"

He decided not to be pulled back into one of those moods again. They had dominated his idle time for months now. Thoughts of her. Thoughts of how happy he and Raven once were. How when they were all alone she would always be there with him. Always close, always by his side. How they would never be apart.

"God I am such a fool."

He moved with determination. Gathering up a small assortment of pictures and other various things he thought he would like to hang on to. Not stopping to think or dwell on anything, for fear of being sucked back into that horrible melancholy.

Finally, after grabbing one of the old boxes he used to store his comics in, he was finished. In the box were an assortment of photographs, books, toys and a small collection of comics and video games. "The rest can be buried in the rubble," he said flatly as he made his way to the bedroom door.

He stopped as it slid open. He turned back to look at his old room once more. The chicken still sat there staring at him. It pulled at him. Beckoned to him. He couldn't just leave it there, he finally decided.

"You don't belong in here," he spoke to the lifeless toy sitting on his old bed. "I'll take you back to her room."

He once again picked up the chicken in his arms, having some difficulty at first juggling it and the large box of belongings he was carrying. After finally managing to get one under each arm he made his way out of his room one last time. He walked down to visit Raven's room for the first time in many years.


	4. Part 4

**Rachel's Story**

 **Part 4**

The storm had moved out over the bay, away from the city, but it had only grown in ferocity. Lightning now constantly illuminated and danced around the enormous storm clouds. It made for quite the backdrop as he looked out the large common room windows.

When Beast Boy had first entered the tower he didn't bother turning on the lights in the common room; he saw no point in it. Now, as he made his way from one end of the tower to the other he stopped, and took in the view outside the window. It would be unlikely that he would have noticed the light show out in the bay if he had tuned them on.

As he stood there looking out the window, he was aware that he was stalling. He did not want to go to her room, he knew it would tear him apart. So why did he feel such I need to subject himself to it? The chicken? 'No.' That was just an initial excuse.

Beast Boy looked around the common room once more. "God this tower is full of ghosts."

Beast Boy suddenly remembered the sound system. "Music, that will lighten the mood," he said as he quickly jammed his hand into his pants pocket. As he removed the CD case a small scrap of receipt paper fell out.

He reached down and picked it up and opened it. 'Rachel Lock 555-0123' scribbled in hasty looking handwriting.

"I almost forgot about you Rachel," he chuckled as he crumpled the paper in his hand. He walked over to a nearby trash can. "Sorry, you were hot but I've only got room for one Rachel in here," as he tossed the number into the trash can.

He made his way over to the CD player. He removed the disk and quickly inspected it. In the light given off by the distant thunderstorm he could make out numerous scratches on the surface of the CD.

"Damn Star, what did you do to this thing?!" he uttered as he breathed on it and quickly wiped it on the sleeve of his shirt. "Hope it will still play."

He placed it in the CD tray and pressed play. As the system that hadn't been used in years he crossed his fingers. After a few moments of silence he started to lose hope.

'Damn,' he thought to himself. "Doesn't anyone these days know how to take care of an actual CD? iPods are killing common sense."

'I'll wait a little longer, see if it plays.'

"You're stalling Garfield."

'No, let's see if it plays.'

"Dude, I need to get this done and get out of here."

He finally gave up and picked up the stuffed animal. He decided to leave his box on the table in the living room. He was only going to be in her room for a second anyways, he figured. He made his way out the sliding double doors with a large, white stuffed chicken under his arm.

* * *

"Raven?" Beast Boy asked, standing behind her on the rooftop.

"What?" she asked in a slightly irritated tone.

"Umm, can I join you?" a timid Beast Boy asked.

"I want to be alone."

"But we are, everyone else is out of the tower."

Raven turned and shot him a stare.

"I guess I'll be downstairs then."

As the stairwell door closed she returned to her meditation. He knew she had been trying to distance herself from him for a few weeks now. She had probably hoped that he couldn't see what she was doing but she knew better than that. Garfield was smarter than he looked and picked up on every little thing that she did. Despite her efforts to hide her feelings, he could always see through her veil.

The Titans were coming to an end. They all could see it. After years of fighting crime in Jump City they were tired. The villains were tired. Most had been put away for good or in worse cases killed. Others simply moved on to greener pastures. Or, in the cases of Control Freak and Dr. Light, given up the criminal life.

The Teen Titans were victims of their own success. Jump City no longer needed them. It was a hard call for Robin to make but they would do more good in other cities. They all agreed they would keep the tower semi-operational, in case of emergencies. It had never been used since that day.

Robin, of course, was accepted to the Justice League of America. Cyborg too was admitted into the JLA. No one really know how Starfire came in contact with Jason Todd, the former Robin turned villain vigilante hell bent on killing Batman turned hero again. But within a year of leaving the Titans she, Jason and Speedy were running their own team.

That left Raven and Beast Boy. Raven wasn't keen on keeping up the hero life. After Trigon's defeat, she simply wanted a quiet life. In spite of Beast Boy's constant begging for her to join him in continuing the defense of Jump City, she instead bought a small home in one of the Jump City's suburbs.

Beast Boy only wanted to be near her and soon followed in her footsteps and got a small apartment not too far from where she lived. He didn't visit her every day but as often as he could. She would always agree for him to come over but it was different from when they were in the tower. She felt more distant somehow.

He was more nervous than usual when he called her the last time. He went over how he was going to ask her again for the hundredth time in his head. Finally she answered.

"Hello," she said in a slightly cheerful voice.

"Hi Rae," he said happily.

"Oh," her tone dropped. "Hey," came a flat dull response.

"What are you up to," Beast Boy ask, a little thrown off by her tone change when she heard his voice. This was becoming more common place in the past weeks.

"Reading,"

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

"Umm, this book have a name?" he asked cautiously.

"What do you want Gar?" she asked sharply. She was clearly not in the mood to talk. At least not to him.

"Oh well umm, I got a call this afternoon from Texas."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Any specific place in Texas or did the greater part of the Lone Stare State just collectively call you?"

"Oh, no. It was this research company in Amarillo. They want me to come up there and help me do medical research on various types of animals. They want to use my powers to help them out. And they are going to pay me for it."

"Congratulations," she said with only a hint of happiness in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm excited about it."

"Wait. How did they know to contact you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, who in Texas knows that Beast Boy is Garfield Logan?" She asked.

"Oh well apparently Bernhard Baker had something to do with it. Helped them get in touch with me."

"Bernhard Baker? Animal Man?"

"Yeah. They approached him first. But he sent them my way."

"So when do you leave?" Raven asked flatly.

"This Thursday," he answered as he braced himself to ask the question.

"Oh. Have fun. I'll see you when you get back," she answered as if she was in a hurry to get him off the phone.

"Well see that the thing. It's an ongoing research thing. And I will have to move down there," he paused as he awaited her response.

"Oh. I see..."

"Do...you want to come with me? We could find a house pretty easy, I'm sure," he reasoned.

"Beast Boy. I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I can't. I'm happy here. My place is here. I enjoy my job at the book store."

Beast Boy's heart sank. "But Raven, Please I-"

"Stop Gar. Please. This is how it is."

"What?" He breathed out.

"I'm sorry. I really am. But it has to end here." His phone beeped quietly as the call ended.

And that was how it ended. No fighting, no swearing, no hatred, no explanation. And that was the worst part, not knowing. It would have been easier to have a reason, an action, something to blame. Any thing to assign fault to. Anything except him.

Deep down Beast Boy knew that he was to blame. The it was his own actions that caused this. He was the reason for this horrible pain he had been feeling all this time. Every tear he had cried for her was his fault.

He now stood in front of her door. So much time had passed since he had been in her room it made him a little nervous. He took a deep breath before walking in.

Her room was all at once so different yet so familiar. He could almost smell the incense and old books. The smells brought him back to a happier time. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to forget the events of the past few years for just a moment.

Slowly he opened his eyes and returned to the unpleasant task of returning the stuffed chicken. He walked over to her old bed still sitting there, neatly made up, as if it were ready to be used. And sitting on the bed was a small photograph and an envelope with the name 'Gar' written on it.

He picked up the photo nervously as he recognized her in it. She was, as she always was, stunningly beautiful. But she wore something new, a bright and cheerful smile. I wasn't something he typically saw on her. She was clearly very content and happy.

But something stabbed at Beast Boy. The young man sitting with her, wearing his own beaming expression. It was him, he knew it without even thinking about it. It was her fiance. A handsome young man with short dark hair. He was well dressed and looked like someone important. Could he be responsible for the smile she was wearing? The look that was so unfamiliar to him. The look that she so vary rarely, if ever, shared with him.

"I miss you," he breathed out, clenching the photo in his hands.

He took a seat on the bed, setting the over sized chicken down next to him. He moved his right thumb over the face of the husband to be. He gazed at her smile for a long while.

"What is it? What did he do that gave that to you?" a solitary tear ran down his cheek. "I know why you never shared that with me. I never earned it. Not truly."

He cast his eyes around the room. A thousand different memories flooded his mind at once. "All those times you made me smile over the years, did I ever make you happy? Did I ever make you smile like he can? Did I ever do anything except annoy you?"

"So maybe I exaggerated a little bit when I explained how we ended to Robin. The hurt was so strong. I wore my anger like a suit of armor. You know Dick though. He probably saw right through it." Beast Boy quickly realized he had started addressing the large stuffed chicken.

"Ugh what am I doing? I'm giving my sob story to a plush novelty. Why did Raven keep this anyway?"

He pushed the stuffed toy over as he got up to leave the room. He turned to see the envelope still sitting on the bed.

"Oh what the hell," he quickly ripped the letter open and dumped the contents on the bed.

There was a hand written note and a white card with a date, time, and an address on it. He didn't have to read the whole thing to know it was a wedding invitation. Rachel Roth and Lucas Smith.

"His name is Lucas..."

He looked at the folded piece of paper. It was her handwriting.

 _'Hello Garfield. Its been a while. I not sure if you heard the news but I am getting married. I know we didn't end well. I am truly sorry if I hurt you. That was not my intention. Look, I know this might not be the best idea but I have left you an invitation to the wedding. You don't have to come but I would love to see you again. We can talk about everything if you want. But if I don't see you I'll understand._

 _Raven._

"Come to your wedding?" It hurt him just saying that. He picked up the invitation and looked at it once more. "No, I don't think I am strong enough for that yet." He tore the invitation in half and threw it back on the bed.

"You would love to see me huh? Those words would have meant so much back then. Of course I would have found some way to screw it up. Or start a fight. I always did. I am so sorry Raven."

He looked down at the photo again. "I hope this Lucas guy is good to you. I hope he sees you for the angel that you are. I only saw that after I had lost you."

He realized that he had forgotten all that she had taught him. He took a seat on the floor. He adopted the lotus position and began to calm his mind and find his center. Taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. He let his thought flow free. He sat there for a long while. Controlling his breathing and letting the events of the past years wash away. He knew this wouldn't fix all of his problems. But at least he was attempting to process them now. All he had been doing up till this point was just running from them.

He got up and wiped the tears from his cheek with his sleeve. He stopped at the door and turned to look at the room one last time. "I don't know if you ever loved me Raven. I don't know if I ever made you as happy as he does. But my life was so much better because I got to spend a portion of it with you. Please don't ever stop smiling that way. After I am long forgotten please don't stop being happy. I love you Raven. Good bye."

He quickly gathered up his things from the common room. He quickly made sure he wasn't forgetting anything as he slowly made his way to the exit.

"It is better this way. She has a good life ahead of her. A great life. I don't need to worry about her anymore. She is going to be okay."

The double doors to the common room slid open. Likely for the last time. "It's a new day for me. A new life for me."

He stopped for a moment before quickly running back into the room one last time. He rummaged through the trash bin hastily. He got up and walked out with a sense of hope in his heart. " _I_ am going to be okay," he spoke as he looked down at the crumbled receipt in his hand. 'Rachel Lock 555-0123'

 **The End**

A/N: I don't own the Teen Titans.

HUGE thank you to my Beta Reader Gweneveire. Without her this would have never got done, or if it had, would be in a far poorer state. She is invaluable too me.

This was going to be one long story but it was suggested that I break it up into parts due to it's many flashbacks. I hope it was not too confusing.

I wrote this in an effort to help me deal with a loss I was going through at the time. It help me heal.

Goodbye Ashley.


	5. afterward

**Afterward**

People keep asking me for a sequel to this story. Honestly I am very pleased with the way it turned out. And I am happy people liked it. I didn't originally think there would be a need for a sequel but now, looking back, I really want to continue this storyline. The sequel is now posted.

 **Garfield's Story**

It picks up three years after the end of this story. The Titans are scattered and on there own. Until one day Raven and Beast Boy are reunited. What will happen now.


End file.
